One of the chains that can bind you is:
Unforgiveness gives control and power over you to others. The binds it can create are of bitterness, pity, depression, resentment, anger, etc. Before you know it, you can become lost and trapped in a dark place.
According to merriam-webster.com, the definitions for forgiveness and forgive are as follows:
“the act of forgiving someone or something; the attitude of someone who is willing to forgive other people.”
To forgive is…
“to stop feeling anger about (something); to cease to feel resentment against (an offender); to forgive someone for (something wrong).”
In other words, forgiveness is the act of not harboring ill will towards someone any longer by feeling it, dealing with it (coming to terms with it) and then releasing it (letting it go).
It does not excuse or erase the wrong doing or the consequence as a result of the wrong doing. It is a healing process.
False Forgiveness: This is what I call empty words spoken from the mind instead of from the heart. These are words that are said in order to make another feel better. Some reasons for this are: the ill will towards the person may not be intense, has been buried deep inside, is only felt when reminded of it or you brush off the incident not realizing the impact it has on you which makes it easier for the empty words to be spoken and thought to be true by the receiver and/or giver.
False forgiveness can have similar effects on you as unforgiveness.
Could this be a reason that incidents from the past are brought up in present arguments?
True Forgiveness: True forgiveness comes from the heart not the mind. It is felt not just spoken. True forgiveness can benefit others involved if they allow it to but even more important is the benefit to you.
When forgiveness is given for whatever reason with or without an apology from the person who wronged you, a feeling of being uplifted will be felt.
When you truly forgive it is similar to a weight being lifted off of your shoulders. The ill will is gone after feeling it, dealing with it and you are free from the burden and take back control by releasing it.
When it comes to receiving forgiveness, you may or may not get it from the person you wronged but either way in order for you to be truly free from the burden you must be able to forgive yourself.
Self-Forgiveness: This type of forgiveness has significant, life changing importance. It can be difficult to do but more damaging if not done. As the saying goes “you are your own worst enemy”. Begin the process by taking responsibility with no excuses for whatever was done.
Be honest with yourself!
Allow yourself to overcome any feelings or thoughts that you are not worthy of forgiveness or that you deserve to punish yourself over and over again for it.
If you need to receive forgiveness from another source in order to help you to forgive yourself, always remember that you will receive forgiveness from God…just ask.
FORGIVENESS IS FOR YOUR BENEFIT…YOUR WELL BEING!
What is done is in the past and cannot be changed.
However, you can change!
Break these chains that bind you by taking a look at your life, truly forgiving those who you have not and move forward a new you.